When God fails me...
Literally thousands of people were praying for a miracle. A
young mother was dying of cancer and people around the world were banging on
heaven’s door asking God to heal her. They referred to verse after
verse…praying scripture back to their God of his promises, his faithfulness.
There was no lack of faith, no lack of passion, no lack of commitment.
She died last week.
God failed us. He did not keep his promises. He was not her
healer. He did not deliver her from this sickness. When we think of all of the
verses that point to our power in prayer and then look at results like this
one, it can get you doubting the very core of our belief.
Fortunately for us, God is not put off by our doubts. Those
of you who know me grasp my dislike for apologetics but here is my apology for
God’s failure.
Jesus failed his followers. They expected…hoped and prayed…that
he would restore the kingdom of Israel. He fulfilled prophesy, check! He did
miracles, even raised the dead, check! He claimed to be God himself, check!
He’s the one. This is it. We are the champions!!
Nope. He let them capture him, torture him and kill him. He
died. Game over.
Complete failure…for a couple days. Though they may have
been well taught in prophesy about the Messiah from childhood, they understood
it incorrectly, and the parts about the “suffering servant” of God…well, that
couldn’t also refer to the conquering Messiah, right? They couldn’t be the same
person. It is easy for us to look back, knowing what we know now, and judge the
blindness of his followers.
I am realizing that I am caught in the same blindness. God did
fail: he failed to meet my expectations.
He failed to be who I have created him to be, based on my interpretation of
what the Bible says. My guess is that, like Jesus’ followers 2000+ years ago, I
have misread the Scriptures and lack true understanding of what God meant when
he said he is “good;” he is “healer;” he is “deliverer.” Let’s be transparent.
It is, without doubt, a good thing that God is not who I have created him to be
because I have created him to be a lot like me!
To be honest, I still don’t know exactly what he means. God,
and his choices, is largely a mystery to me. Should I turn away and seek
another? Dashed expectations can be deadly to faith.
My hope rests in the big reveal. Jesus revealed himself to
his followers after rising from the dead. He could have just ascended to heaven
and left them in their confusion; but, he didn’t. Their disillusionment and
failure to understand did not sway him. He took on their doubt and melted it
away. In my times of deep discouragement with God I fall back into the history
of my walk with him. Tragedy can turn us. Tragedy can save us. The final
decision rests with God’s revelation of himself before and after the tragedy.
That is where our hope lies.
Will the REAL God please stand up.
