The End Game

Over the past week I have been caring for my mom. She and my dad are in a retirement facility and are living independent of any outside care, which is a blessing. My mom, however, has some issues that require that she not be left alone. My dad was in the NW this week, moving his only sister here to live in Colorado. It has been an honor to spend time with my mom while my dad has been away.

You can’t spend a week in a retirement facility without spending some time thinking about your own future and, to the extent possible, your own end game.

First off, let me say that the people we ate with and spent time with were wonderful to a person. It was a wonderful experience for an instant connector like me to meet and get to know a bunch of new, very interesting, people. They all have lifelong stories of ups and downs, victories and failures.

As I observed them, day after day, I began to realize just how close I am to being one of them. We could enter that facility in seven years if we wanted to. Where has the time gone? Have I accomplished what I have wanted to at this point in my life? What more do I want to do? If there are dreams I want to see fulfilled, I better get to work on them!!

I wrote a poem once about these thoughts. Live each moment so that you don’t regret looking back at it…to the best of your ability.

Seize the Moment

YESTERDAY CANNOT BE CHANGED

TOMORROW CANNOT BE WRITTEN

ALL WE HAVE IS NOW, TODAY

TO USE, TO DO, TO LIVE IN

IF THIS IS TRUE SHOULD WE NOT NOT GIVE

MORE CARE TO HOW WE SPEND IT

FOR TIME ONCE USED IS TIME NOW GONE

WE CANNOT APPREHEND IT

This morning singer Sandra McCracken tweeted a quote from her four year old. “Mommy, can I be a little more in charge of you since it’s almost my birthday?” I tweeted back to Sandra: “Love her well, Sandra, because, yes, in time, she will be in charge of you” (if Jesus tarries).

I have that honor now. I love you mom!

Something Must be Done About Time

I turn 58 today and some observations seem in order.

Time seems to move faster the older I get. I feel like I enjoy life more but I have less time for it.

People who have always been older than me, pastors, heroes and the like, are now younger.

My children are now the age that I feel I still am, inside.

If I am going to accomplish something more significant than I already have, I better get at it.

I better figure out what I want to be when I grow up!

The blacks and whites of my youth have faded to a more grace-full grey, along with my hair.

Some years ago I wrote a poem about the passing of time. I thought I might repost it here because,    really, “Something Must be Done About Time!”

Something must be done about time.
A day ago I held my baby in my arms.
She was small and needy,
Helpless in fact.
I held her close and kept her warm.

Something must be done about time.
An hour ago I held my little girl's hand.
She was scared and uncertain,
Unsure of herself.
I held it fast and kept her safe.

Something must be done about time.
A minute ago I held my daughter to me.
She was hurt and crying,
Confused by men.
I held her tight and shared my strength.

Something must be done about time.
A second ago I held a young woman's arm.
She was tall and strong,
Full of life.
I let her go and watched her leave.

I let her go and...

I let her go.

Something must be done about time.

Bait and Switch Evangelism

As I have observed us Christ-followers in recent months, personally, on Facebook and on Twitter, I have been interested in the amount of exhortation and evangelism that happens out there. This is a good thing, most likely, but a concern has surfaced in my mind. This concern revolves around obedience and… if you read this blog much…you know that is a near and dear topic (though to be honest, not one I am very good at, personally!).

It seems we need to be careful of giving a message that this is all free. While it is true that salvation is a free gift of God, not attained by working at it, so that no one has a reason to boast; discipleship is not free by any measure. I think this is why we read that anyone who can say, “Christ is Lord” is in The Way. The lordship of Jesus is a surrender of everything to his control. True discipleship costs us all that we are…even to the point of death for the Master. That message is anything but “free.”

However, I get it; if we lead with the, “this will cost you everything you have” line, we may not see as many consider joining the family. I just want us to be careful that we use a both/and approach here. Let’s proclaim that salvation is free through the mercy and grace of God; but along with that, let’s also make sure that the cost of discipleship is clear. I am not talking about a list of “dos and don’ts” here. I am talking about taking steps of obedience as God lays them before us, whatever the cost or consequence.

Maybe part of the issue for us is that the cost of discipleship in the US is, or at least seems, minimal in comparison to some cultures where death may be attached to “coming out” as a believer.

May God direct our hearts and words.

Our Juxtaposition God

It is amazing how we, as finite and flawed “jars of clay,” can hold within us the infinite and perfect God. What is even more amazing…and rather embarrassing… is how we continue to make feeble and inadequate definitions of him, as if trying to somehow contain him in our jar; understand him with our mind
.

In God exist such completely diverse elements (Monty Python reference) as justice and mercy, law and grace, power and meekness…yes, even free will and sovereignty. Our God has commanded the genocide of complete people groups, including women, children and animals, while also sacrificing his only Son to satisfy the judgment commanded by himself for the sin that those people groups committed. Even writing that last sentence is confusing, awesome, difficult and wonderful, all at the same time.

Though we will never reach the end of this because it exists in him and he is infinite, it has helped me to consider it this way. We, on earth, are enveloped by space in a similar way that all things are enveloped and coexist within God. As we look up into the night sky the view is different in each direction, though the essence is the same. Because we are stuck in one place on earth, there remain a vast number of “views” left unseen and guessed at.

Can I serve a God I can neither grasp nor understand completely? Yes, for he has grasped and understands me completely. He is the potter. I am the jar. May I serve him fully as he has designed, with gratitude!

Who moved my fine line?

I am beginning to understand that one of the most frustrating things about my walk is trying to stay on the fine line. Sitting here writing this, I am reminded of a scene streetside in Los Angeles a couple weeks ago. We were enjoying the parking lot that is traffic there when, thankfully, we got a chance to be amused watching a guy taking a sobriety test. He was desperately trying to walk that fine line…to no avail. He was doom-bent for that DUI.

No different than he, I feel completely unable to walk my fine line. First, let me say that the fine line is, I am certain, clearly defined before God. Try as I might, though, it usually eludes me. There seems to be, in fact, nothing more elusive.

Our fine line is not the same line laid out for others. We are called to our fine line. Jesus made that pretty clear to Peter just before he left. “So what if I want him to live until I return? What I want to make clear to you is; you follow me, though I am leading you to your death.” (Jeff’s paraphrase)

Then there is that annoying movement my line does. Just when I think I get it figured out and find my balance, it is no longer underneath my feet and down I go, grasping air as I choke out, “Lord save me!” You know, it seems that this happens just about the time I decide to share my success with those around me.

So, are we doom-bent to be grasping for the mercy of Jesus always, our survival resting solely on his grace and nothing else? Most certainly! He is our only hope!

What, then, is the answer for walking the fine line?

Let him carry you.